I need either rides to and from work, or a place to stay during the week and rides to and from. I can offer gas & toll money, or exchange for a place to stay, cleaning/cooking and gas money.

Any and all help would be appreciated!!

Been kind of keeping things to myself, trying to sort things out, figure out things...and most of it's been happening in silence. Not sure who I can talk to about the things in my head anymore. Some bad things, some good.

No idea what's happened with Teresa. No word from Darrick, nor from anyone else who may know anything. Not pleased. I've hated how Darrick's been handling things. I understand that between his trying to find a place for him, his girl and their kid to live and trying to have Teresa properly taken care of are HUGE tasks in and of themselves, and having to deal with both situations together is insane. He should have been asking for more help when it came to getting Teresa taken care of. And don't get me started on Tookie. He's become a waste, too. I've hated the fact that I'm not in the loop AND that legally I CAN'T do anything. I'm taking Teresa's death and the handling of her final arrangements a bit more to heart than some people probably think I should, and honestly, I have every right to. I am why she came to New Hampshire in the first place. It was through our relationship that she met most of the crowd. I'm glad she stayed up here after we broke up. She met a lot of good people, and I'm grateful for the time we had with her. Despite Darrick and Tookie failing in stepping up and doing the right things, there WILL be a celebration of her life, and it will be held at the Derry House sometime in February. Date and time will be forthcoming. Early HUGE thank yous to redpoppies and Brian for letting me do this.

Dad's birthday, and the 3rd anniversary of his passing, have come and gone. It doesn't feel like three years.

Had my license suspended again. This time, the other 45 days that were held over my head from my last suspension were applied, and also got 180 days for too many points against my license. Luckily(?), the suspensions are running concurrently. The suspension started on the Winter Solstice, and I'll get it back on the Summer Solstice. So far, I've been fortunate enough to be getting rides mostly from Nigel and from evileric1971. I know I can't keep that up for the entire duration, nor can they. I don't know what else to do yet, but I'm incredibly grateful for them getting me back and forth.

Found out from my boss at our little Christmas Eve eve work party about how we did the past year, or at least from January to October. Now, mind you, there are approximately 427 EmbroidMe stores around the world. For the time from January to October, the store I work at was number 4 for sales for the year, and for October alone, we were number 2, with a store in Australia being the only one ahead of us. Not too shabby, considering I was the one doing the majority of the work in our shop!! The long hours (pulling anywhere between 11- to 14-hour days, not including the commute) and crazy weeks have been worth it. Now with the holidays finally over, things have started to noticeably slow down, even though there's still plenty of work. Not so much as to warrant crazy long days still, but that's ok - I can use a bit of a break. I'll miss the healthy paychecks for a bit, too. Maybe I'll be able to get back in touch with people a bit.

Christmas was spent at my Seester's, and she was still up before everone - including Jack!! She finds out on Monday if she's having a boy or a girl. She's hoping for a girl. :) Oh yeah, she's pregnant...lol Her due date is mid-June-ish...which is right around 2 wedding anniversaries, MY birthday, my mom's birthday, a cousin's birthday...We're hoping for June 12th or 16th, so the baby'll have their own day (although I wouldn't complain about sharing my birthday with a new niece or nephew!!).

Rang in 2010 at raynemoonfyre's, with her hubby, and friends, including squeaks4469, clodappleleft (YAAAY!!), and dreddy_reddy and Lord Rhuff. We invaded the Mall of NH on New Year's day, and I was able to start off the new year with smiles and laughter.

Let's see...what else...Oh yeah.

Had two friends recently decide they no longer wanted to be friends with me because of some things that I've said on Facebook. Now, I'm not here for some popularity contest, and I certainly don't expect everyone to like what I say. But getting "Yes this is a public forum. Yes you have every right to write what ever you want to. I just don't agree with some things that you say." with no explanation as to what I may have said wrong according to them is messed up. I've said LOTS of things, and granted they're MY opinion, and I know that I don't always follow the status quo. I LIKE the fact that I don't. I've never looked at everything the same way other people do. I may not feel bad about something or someone or some situation, and I'm quite sure that not everyone feels bad for me, either, and that's ok. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, too. Diversity is a Good Thing™. But if there's something I've said that's bothered someone THAT much, I'd like to think that they'd be a BIT more specific.

So, to that end, to talia_dechoros and soulsquietvoice, if it was something about Teresa, or my opinions about Darrick's handling of Teresa that put you off, or even if that wasn't why, the LEAST you two could have done would have been to TALK TO ME. And since you can't, or won't, and you two want to up and toss out this many years of friendship, then CJ, good luck on your tour overseas, and I hope you come back safely. Peter, never in my life did I think you'd up and walk away without even so much as a goodbye. But I will let you both know about the party that will be held for Teresa, since the party will be about HER, not me, nor you two.

Ok...it's 10 after 4 in the morning. It's taken me most of the night to write this, and there's more I want to type, but I'm not sure how to put things into the right words yet. So with that, I say good night.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

It's been two and a half weeks...and Teresa's STILL not taken care of. But I FINALLY talked to Darrick last night. What he's been trying to get is actual monies to cover the expenses for Teresa's cremation and such. I let him know about a few things, and he also updated me. Soooooo...with that being said, and I KNOW it's the holiday season, but it turns out that donations ARE going to be needed to help her get taken care of. If anyone can help (even a little bit), it'd be great.

I'll be at Resurrection in Manchester tomorrow night, and can be at the Grand Buffet in Nashua on Friday night, for starters. If anyone can donate even a little, it'd be a HUGE help. If anyone is long distance and can't get up here, but wants to help, I can see about setting up something through PayPal or give folks my address (via e-mail) and a check can be sent.

It's time. Help me, please.

And before it's asked, yes, there will be some kind of celebration of her life, but any kind of said celebration will be done AFTER the holidays. :)

I actually made progress, and got info from the Nashua Police. The sergeant I spoke to was excellent. I've left the names and telephone numbers out of this note.

She DID call 911, she was having a lot of trouble breathing, and also told the 911 operator that she had COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), which my father had. She also had asthma, and diabetes. When the paramedics and police got there, they couldn't get in because the door was locked. They had to force their way in, and she was already down. They tried CPR and other attempts to revive her, but it didn't work. They made the decision to not transport her to the hospital. So, more or less, she died at home, by herself. Gods, that hurts to type...

The NH Medical Examiner was called down. The police determined that there was nothing suspicious about the scene. I believe her laptop and cell phone were seized to try to find information about next of kin. The Davis Funeral Home transported Teresa's body to the State Hospital, where they performed an autopsy, where they determined that there was nothing suspicious about what happened to her, no foul play, or anything like that. Any kind of toxicology tests will come back in a few weeks. It was found that her blood sugar was extremely elevated, though.

I was given the number of the State Medical Examiners' Office and name of the Deputy Medical Examiner that attended to Teresa. I called office, and left a message. The person who called me back was, suffice to say, not as stellar as the Sergeant. She couldn't wrap around her head the information I was giving her (like NO, I'm not blood-related - I'm her ex-fiancee - which I had to say again as that I was romantically involved with her), and would not put me in contact with the DME that the sergeant had given me the name of, claiming that he was only a Field Examiner. Uh, so??? I had to keep repeating and re-explaining myself. And she didn't seem to get the idea that there is a good possibility that next of kin may NEVER claim her, because of them becoming estranged when she came out. When I asked her about taking responsibility for her if her family is never reached, I was told I couldn't, unless I got written permission from the family. Anyone else notice something sounding really WRONG with that last sentence?? I then asked what would happen if she never gets claimed...and this is what tore me apart at work... She will stay in the morgue until ths state takes care of her. I can't have that. I just can't. The slightest thought of her staying on that cold slab any longer than she should is JUST NOT RIGHT. It's not fair to her. Her own family doesn't want her?? She HAS family in US. WE are her family, damnit. Blood does NOT always equal family.

Those last few sentences sucked to type. Something's gotta happen. Teresa needs to be taken care of, not left to be buried or something by the State.

If I find out any more information, I'll let everyone know. Thank you, gang, for the support and your love. Love you guys more than you realize.

has only found out these things - that Teresa called 911, and by the time help got to her, she was gone (thank you, talia_dechoros ), and from midnyte_angel , a friend got in touch with Teresa's neighbour, and said it could have been an asthma attack. No word on any arrangements or anything like that yet.

I'm just letting everyone know that my ex-fiancée, Teresa Rodriguez, was found dead in her apartment a little while ago. The police are there, but cause of death hasn't been released yet. If ANYONE has any knowledge about her family, or how to get in touch with them, please let me know ASAP. I know that she was estranged from most, if not all, of her family, but they still need to be notified. Thanks.

I wrote this, off the cuff, on July 4, 2006, and although I've tweaked the words a bit, I think it's still just as good as it was when I first wrote it.

People fought for our freedom,
Life and Liberty,
As this world keeps moving around,
The more changes that I see.
The rich get richer, less taxes from their pockets,
The poor, they're poorer, money yanked from them like plugs yanked from sockets.
Kids killing kids, over things they shouldn't be.
Battles for rights, stopping violence, terrorism, crime, war
Hoping peace could be the key.

We still may have oppression, war and lots of dead
And plenty of bad things goin' 'round, that I'd rather stay in bed.
But instead I'll get up, get dressed and go outside
Meet up with my friends, and go along for a ride
To meet with other friends, to play and have some fun
To celebrate what so many died for, under the warm, summer sun.
Hope to see some fireworks, too, to light up the evening sky.
Then back home to rest the very next day, since I know today'll fly.

Today I'll drink my Pepsi, and offer up my libation,
To those who fought, lived, and died for us, in this our free nation.

We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy July 4th.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Haven't really posted here in a long while. Been having so many varied thoughts about things since my birthday, and no idea how to put them down in words like I used to. But maybe today I'll try.

I've been going on a few first dates since my birthday, and since signing up to plentyoffish.com. I've met three new people, been stood up once, and may be meeting a few more soon. It feels strange, this whole meeting new people thing. Suddenly, it seems, I've been come...desirable? Me? The one who hasn't been on a date, or anything even resembling a date in years? Like I said, it feels strange. I have no idea where any of this will lead to, and I'm not all bummed out like I used to get if something doesn't quite work. I'm not complaining - not by any means. Just after being in a long-term rut for so long, all this new attention has caught me way off guard. Go figure.

One of the people I've met mentioned during our first meeting that I ought to try doing stand-up comedy, since he and I went back and forth with comments and such, and had him laughing and contemplating things from my slightly skewed perception. I've actually been told that before, to try stand-up, by various people over the last few years. But I went down to an open mic night this past Monday, and knew there was no way I could do that. What I do is banter, and feed off of others' words or actions and they feed off me. I self-depreciate, which in one way is wrong, but it's a defense mechanism. I am also a storyteller...a teller of tales. To get up on a stage, cold, and try to make people laugh, and in about 2 minutes...no way. I'll stick to what I do, and how I do it.

I think I've almost beaten an old habit of nailbiting. I've been trying to grow my nails out for the last 2 months-ish. It feels strange having nails after never letting them really grow, and that feeling of having something stuck under my nails...gah! Still getting used to that. Also getting used to wearing nail polish. It's like I'm becoming more girly or something. Jeez, when the hell did that happen...?

The idea of going to the bar to see everyone is starting to grate on me again. It's not the first time this has happened, but the sour feeling of going to that drama-laden hole is stronger than it has been. It's sad, really. Isn't there a Friday or Saturday night where friends can go out for an ENTIRE evening, and not ONCE set foot in that place? The thing that hurts is that I've had a lot of people agree with me, but oh surprise-surprise, guess where they wind up? I remember last summer, putting out word earlier in the week of wanting to gather people and go up to Hampton Beach on a Friday or Saturday night and spending the evening there, and not getting a single response...because everyone went to the bar instead. Is drinking alcohol and getting buzzed or drunk THAT important, so much so that you can't break routine for even ONE night? I'd like to get a bunch of people together and hit Fire + Ice down in Harvard Square. It'd be a cool change from the same boring routine, and be FUN do to something different!! But, guaranteed, no one will want to go, and come up with some lame-ass reason - too expensive (bullshit - you'd actually spend LESS money than you would on the booze you'd be drinking!!! And FYI, it's only $16.95 per person at Fire + Ice, and it's all you can eat!!), too long of a drive (what a hackneyed answer!!), blah blah, wahh wahh waaahh...

I can't handle another stagnant summer. The beach, the movies, dinner at some NEW places other than Denny's... c'mon!!! Something, ANYTHING, other than the bar, or any other bar.

Heard Roomie's alarm go off, and get shut off, but no sounds of any other movement. Not a good sign. He hears me, and thank GODS he's fine. He hears me doing stuff, and asks me what's going on. I tell him, and he thinks it's funny!! Then the fucker starts going "Braaaains...brraaaaaiiiins..." No no no!! None of that shit!! I think I'm gonna hafta keep an eye on him. This could turn bad.

Still no sounds of kids...and no bird noises, either. Seem to be more cars...I'll be venturing out soon, AFTER I grab my throwing crosses and blades...

I have a feeling something was up last night. I noticed when I got out of work, rather late, that it was a touch humid, and that there was a strange smell in the air. That upturned earth and decay smell...kinda like last year. There's a cemetary right across the street from my work, and even though it was dark, I could have sworn I saw something moving, and it was too big to be an animal. Gods, I hope the girls in the Java Room got out ok if this is what I think it is. My car seemed to be a bit sluggish, like I couldn't get away quick enough...

When I stopped at the GB, at one point, a bunch of girls (at least I *think* they were girls), got up to sing Baby Got Back, but it sounded rather monotone... Some of the patrons seemed to be shuffling around a bit, and not necessarily that drunken shuffle, either. Fencer noticed that, too. When they turned the lights on at the end of the night, I saw that some of the patrons didn't look right. I said a few goodbyes, and left. Got back here, and crashed out.

Now, here it is, Saturday morning, the sun is out...and there are NO kids outside playing or making some kind of noise. Usually, the kids are outside by 8am-ish, but this morning, nothing but city noises, and even those sounds don't sound the same...

Zombies VS. NHRD...

Could make for an interesting day...

BLITEOTW info...

I'm looking for opinions on the different GPS devices out there...suggestions/recommendations are welcome, too!! Anyone? Anyone?

X-posted on my Facebook and MySpace...

This weekend, Tournaments of Creathorne 16 marks my 15th year in the Realms. I have nothing even *remotely* packed, let alone ready. The game, as it were, has slowly been losing its allure with me for more than a few years now. From what I can see, the IC/OOC line is more skewed than ever, and the drama makes soap operas look like cartoons. The game is no longer fun. The familiar faces are all but gone, and the new faces seem so young. Most of the people I once considered my heros are no longer a part of the game.

There used to be a time when I used to look forward to the event weekends, and couldn't wait to get my car packed and be gone, off to an adventure, forgetting mundane life for a few days. Now, not so much. I *do* want to go to events, but it all seems to be the same. Different weekend, same event, just with it's name changed. Maybe I've gotten as far as I can. I've been a powerful healer and alchemist, a Baroness, a High Priestess twice, a Knight, a member of a few High Councils, an old-school, long-standing member of the Church of Chaos, a storytelling bard of sorts and in another character, a fryin' pan-weildin', elf-fetishist Ork. That sounds like enough, dunnit? I don't know. Maybe it's just some kind of funk that sets in this time of year with me now. *shrug* I don't know.

There are other things going on this weekend, besides ToC16 and the other event. Cliff (Wyld Chyld) has a band and they're doing a big show up in Orange, NH this weekend that I've been invited to. There's going to be a Beltaine Festival/celebration at A Sacred Place up in Canaan, NH this weekend. There's a cookout at Dougie's. Different things. I don't know anymore.

But knowing me, I'll probably wind up at Little Creathorne Farm again at some point, like I have for the last 14 years. And it'll be a pretty good time, like it usually is.

Happy birthday, goddamnit!!

Love and miss you, doll!!

I hope all the Moms on my friends list have a very Happy Mother's Day...

Today would have been my parents' 40th wedding anniversary... Happy anniversary, Dad. Love you and miss you.

After ups, downs, in-betweens, and a few obstacles, I'm finally in my new place. I'm still in Manchester, and I've moved in with gcyogi and Eric and their goofy feline, Loki. Meg let me take Guido, since he'd bonded to me, and he's adjusted pretty well, I think. He's taken to burrowing under my blankets and stuff at night (which he never did with me before), and apparently acts like my guardian when I'm in the shower (he guards the bathroom door when I'm in there...weird, I know). Most of my things are in place, and although there are still more than a few boxes still yet to be unpacked, I've gotten pretty settled. My bookcase didn't survive the move, so I'll be getting a new one at some point soon. For now, all of my books and my games are still in their boxes stacked up in one corner of the room. My once-thought-to-be-tossed headboard has gotten a new life. The kitchen still needs to be worked on, and I'm thinking that Jen and I can try to do that tonight.

Work's been getting busier, and pairing that with this whole move debacle, the whole thing's been kicking my ass. But it's all over, and hopefully, things will return to (ab)normal soon. I'll be able to get back to my projects, and finish the things that have been sitting far too long.

Too brief an update, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to check in. For those that want it, here's my new address...

28 Ferry St. #2
Manchester, NH 03102

Errands to run, stuff to still unpack...I'm out. :)

I'm glad and relieved that the yard sale is over. Didn't hardly make squat, not even enough for a full tank of gas for my car. My tent is still up for grabs, and I'm a little sunburnt. I think I may crash out for a few hours, then head over to watch the Skate Free or Die! Derby Girls and maybe over to Derry if I'm still up for it.

I'm just glad it's over.